"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend…
if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot
possibly attend first night, will attend second…if there is one."
Winston
Churchill, in response.
More. Hat tip to Kottke and don’t forget these Tullock classics.
Here are a few more (courtesy to Car Talk)
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill
“I may be drunk madame, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will be just as ugly.” – Winston Churchill (when asked if he was drunk)
“Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.” – Jonathon Swift
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” – Groucho Marx
“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“I wish I’d known you when you were alive.” – Leonard Louis Levinson
“Don’t be humble…you’re not that great.” – Golda Meir
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
You will never be able to live down to your reputation!
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.
She’s got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book.
All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it’s hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
One of my favorites: “Your book…struck me as so worthless and poor that my heart went out to you for having defiled your lovely, brilliant flow of language with such vile stuff. I thought it outrageous to convey material of so low a quality in the trappings of such rare eloquence; it is like using gold or silver dishes to carry garden rubbish or shit.”
Martin Luther writing to Erasmus in ‘The Bondage of the Will’
Dorthy Parker was a gem:
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.†
“Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.†
“She looks like something that would eat its young†
“If all the girls at Brandeis were laid end-to-end, I wouldn’t be surprised†
Ha. This blog comment, being about classic insults is BY far the funniest thing that I have yet to read on Marginal Revolution.
I especially love the one that says “She looks like something that would eat its young.” being from a small, hickish town, it has much relevance to me.
A lot of folks, to me look like they’d eat their young.
But come on, how mean is it to say that?
Though this is quite humorous to read…do adults in the “real world” not have anything better to write about besides insults?
This sure gives me a LOT to look forward to as my age progresses.
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