Claims my Russian wife laughs at

You should be glad I think your hair is too short.  Given that hair grows, if it were not now too short, it would too soon be too long.  Think of it in terms of an S-S model.  About half of the time your hair should be too short.

Five points extra credit if you realize that same reasoning means wage and price stickiness may not be as big as problem as we used to think.