If you’re feeling guilty about driving your giant sport utility vehicle (but not so guilty that you’d ever give it up), salvation is at hand. For a yearly fee of around $80, a company called TerraPass will offset the damage your SUV does to the atmosphere by spending your money to reduce industrial carbon emissions and to promote the spread of clean energy. They’ll also send you a decal and a bumper sticker, so everyone in the neighborhood will know that your gas guzzler has been sanctified.
Here is the full story, which details other options as well. Of course we need not stop with SUVs. Have your life taped and recorded, and submit the results to certified third-party arbitrators (who, by the way, will safeguard your confidentiality). They will tell you how much of a cancer you have been to the body politic, and suggest offsetting charitable contributions.
Addendum: Read this also, thanks to Graham Lawlor.