How petty can my worries get?

Forget about avian flu, I hate waiting in line to board a plane.  But what is the answer?

United Airlines says it believes it has hit on a better solution. It recently announced a logistics ploy it calls Wilma – shorthand for window-middle-aisle – that it claims will cut boarding times by four to five minutes, an eternity in the industry’s on-time takeoff sweepstakes. The idea is to fill the window seats in economy class first, then the middle seats, then the aisle seats, thereby eliminating the free-for-all chaos that clogs the cabin when passengers are sent in by row numbers.

Southwest, of course, eliminates the whole idea of assigned seats.  Or how about some economics?  Charge people for each carry-on, since the bag makes it harder to board (and get off) quickly.  Or have an electronic record of when people manage to reach their seats and buckle their seatbelt.  The sooner you buckle, relative to your position in the plane of course, the greater your chance of a prize or rebate.  Small ideas for a much better world, as they say.