"Eroticism is not only a desire for the body, but to an equal extent a desire for honor. The partner you’ve won, who cares about you and loves you, becomes your mirror, the measure of your importance and your merits. For my little tart, this was a difficult task. When you go to bed with everyone you stop believing that such a commonplace thing as making love can still have any kind of importance. And so you seek the true erotic honor in the opposite. The only man who could provide that girl with a clear gauge of her worth was one who wanted her but whom she herself had rejected. And because she understandably longed to verify to herself that she was the most beautiful and best of women, she went about choosing this one man, whom she would honor with her refusal, very strictly and captiously. When in the end she chose me, I understood that this was an exceptional honor, and to this day I consider this my greatest erotic success."
That is from Milan Kundera, Laughable Loves, which was a fun read.