Toffee is the world’s first dating app for people who were privately educated…[W]hether it’s a shared interest in horse racing or rugby, Toffee users can indicate which sporting and social events they are interested in or likely to attend, to further enhance the matching logic.

Here are the visuals on the web site.  For the pointer I thank the excellent Kevin Lewis.


Definition of toff -
chiefly British, disparaging: dandy, swell

Don't see swell used today. It's the term Fitzgerald often used. I suppose we are in a new swell era. I am a fan of Fitzgerald. Critics describe him as simply the chronicler of an era. Maybe. To me he captured a certain sadness, the sadness that could only be experienced by the swells. The visuals to this new dating app show handsome and beautiful swells flirting and drinking champagne. Sure, Fitzgerald captured that but also the sadness that comes with it: reading Fitzgerald is like watching a train wreck.

What does "privately educated" mean in what seems to be a British context? (I thought before peeking that it was going to be a dating site for the home-schooled!)

Long ago that's exactly what "privately educated" meant. You learned from your tutors at home.

Recently it's been used for people who have attended schools that charge fees (even if the individual concerned has had his or her fees waived).

Thus Jeremy Corbyn and Tony Blair were "privately educated". Gordon Brown was not.

And the UK schools that charge (such as one famous for its playing fields) are called 'public' - vastly confusing for Americans, who know the difference between schools that charge and those that don't is that the ones run as businesses are private.

"Public school" is used in England, "private school" in Scotland. In fact they typically aren't run as businesses but as educational charities.

I live in the U.K. and am unable to access this site because my broadband provider, BT, has deemed it too risky and too much like porn. Since BT are the largest provider of broadband, that doesn’t portend well for this website. Theresa May’s proposed anti-porn rules haven’t even been implemented yet.

Just to follow up my earlier post: the restrictions sex-related content were supposed to come into effect in April 2019 but have been delayed, likely because of Brexit

The swells, a young, fully dressed (in formal attire), couple sitting in a public place drinking champagne have their hand on the other's thigh. Maybe it's the touch of the thigh that aroused suspicion. The young woman has the look on her face and in her eyes like she is ready to raise things up to a different level.

I'm no swell, but my former wife and I would wear formal attire to attend the theater in NYC and dinner after. We were pretending to be swells. We didn't really stand out, as people were much more formal back then. Today, are there dress requirements (jacket and tie for a man) for fine restaurants in NYC? Indeed, are men even required to tuck in their shirts? Why has plebeian culture overtaken American culture? Where are the swells?

Plot twist: American culture is plebeian culture.

the dating economy is in large fall for America's fall from grace in the 21st century. just look at travel. people spend 450 to go to Reykjavik when they could spend a grand and go to Dublin or the Hamptons (for the weekend). As Daisy Buchanan once said, "Take 'em down-stairs and give 'em back to whoever they belong to. Tell 'em all Daisy's change' her mind. Say: 'Daisy's change' her mine!'"

Jacket and tie for dinner? No, not necessary. My wife and I will dress up for the ballet, but even then we know we don't have to. And fancy dinners in NYC are a total sham.

A couple of years ago I read a humorous article that raised the question of how to distinguish a dandy from a fop. I think of those as being more about the behavior of individuals whereas swells are more about being members of a certain social class and subculture.

But in reality I don't truly know what any of those words mean; I don't think I've ever spoken them, nor even written them except here.

Do rich people wear tuxedos to a first date?

Maybe to job interviews, but a first date would be gauche.

Servants wear tuxedos:

Me dripping
You dropping
are we rain?
Two pea's in a pod.

A rose in a toilet
Over Flow

Hi shelf,
make like a fruit in seattle,
peel the top; how old am I?

Only after 6pm; what are they? Farmers?

I would advise against it, sir.

I believe you will come to love this app, Jeeves.

For white people, by white people.

We allow them to date, too! Shocking, I know.

All of the pupils are very dilated. We know what that means.

what does that mean?

You'll just have to open the doors of perception, you will find your answer on the other side.

Ugh, that guy is either wearing a clip-on bow tie or he tied it too squarely. A man with proper upbringing should know that a proper bow tie should be slightly asymmetrical so as not to be confused with a clip-on. Never using this service.

When I saw "toffee" in reference to toffs, I couldn't help but think of this passage from Gilbert & Sullivan's "Patience" (and I wonder if the folks who created the site were thinking of it as well):

DUKE Envy me? Tell me, Major, are you fond of toffee?


COLONEL We are all fond of toffee.

ALL We are!

DUKE Yes, and toffee in moderation is a capital thing. But to live on toffee -- toffee for breakfast, toffee for dinner, toffee for tea -- to have it supposed that you care for nothing but toffee, and that you would consider yourself insulted if anything but toffee were offered to you -- how would you like that?

COLONEL I can quite believe that, under those circumstances, even toffee would become monotonous.

DUKE For "toffee" read flattery, adulation, and abject
deference, carried to such a pitch that I began, at last, to
think that man was born bent at an angle of forty-five degrees! Great heavens, what is there to adulate in me? Am I particularly intelligent, or remarkably studious, or excruciatingly witty, or unusually accomplished, or exceptionally virtuous?

COLONEL You're about as commonplace a young man as ever I saw.

ALL You are!

DUKE Exactly! That's it exactly! That describes me to a T!

A dating app for those whose parents bribed their way into top colleges??

Why is there no dating app for incels? This would actually solve a social problem.

We should come up with some good names for such a website/business. (These are not good names. But I tried.)

“Inceltives matter!”

“Soggy: the opposite of Tinder”

“Forlornly Yours”



I’d rather prefer a site call “old gum” for plebes raised in the ghetto who demonstrate an authority in street smarts and have a junior high school education, also are looking to hook up at the local McDonalds.

I was trying to think of a dating app for people who'd received an indifferent education from American public schools, but I couldn't think of a catchy name like Toffee. Slurpee, maybe.

Ewww, but +1

Lol. That would be a commodity market, mate. Even the volumes would leave you short. No barriers to entry. Margins too damn thin!

Isn't this just the British version of the Winklevosses 'date a Harvard man' original concept?

And also, I feel like the concept of signalling shouldn't be too explicit. If it's explicit, then it can be imitated or mocked too easily. (Explicit signalling is only useful in the process of humiliating those who don't belong.) What you really need is a complicated set of rules which aren't ever written down, which define your class and give you away without you ever knowing.

Have you ever seen the Mitchell & Webb Bawdy 1970s hospital skit, with the guy who doesn't get double-entendres? This website feels all very single-entendre.

I believe the US had such a service a long time ago. They advertised in the classifieds of the NYRB. Back when you advertised for internet things on print things.

I think they eventually pivoted into a social network that pivoted into something like TED. Or maybe they are all separate things.

I think it is a good way of hacking VC into giving you money. But I don't see how the service helps these people find each other in a way that the meatspace social networks of these folk already do?

Years ago a daily here in India carried an article which quoted a British sociologist observing that the way different classes are socialising will in future result in two distinct human species as predicted in Wells's The Time Machine. Will such dating apps reinforce this trend?

A dating site for toffs is called Toffee? Seriously? This has bankruptcy court written all over it.

The guy is slightly creepy. The girl is cute. The music is grocery store music. There is nothing appealing about the site.

An American version, now quite old,, is much better.

I don't know if it's still like this, but my experience in 1987 was that toffs and toffettes attend the Henley Regatta rowing races. It was a wonderful people-watching experience. As a sports-watching event, not so much ... it was like Cecil Beaton's Ascot horse race scene in My Fair Lady:

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