Not from The Onion

by on August 11, 2017 at 2:27 pm in Economics, Religion | Permalink

‘BitCoen’ to become first electronic currency specifically for Jews

And this:

While anyone can purchase tokens, the company will be managed by a ‘Council of Six’ made up solely of Jewish representatives. The representatives will likely be prominent leaders in both public and private sectors, though there is no word yet as to the planned demography of the leaders.

As the currency is aimed specifically at Jewish communities, there will be an automation option so that trading operations may take place on Shabbat, when the handling of money is prohibited by Jewish law.

Just to be clear, I don’t think that all or even most of these new coins are viable entities…

Hat tip goes to Irrelevant Investor.

1 nederlander August 11, 2017 at 2:37 pm

1636 is to 2017 as ___ is to cryptocurrency

2 Ray Lopez August 11, 2017 at 4:38 pm

Two lips? Seems that in real life (IRL), Poe’s Law applies.

3 Axa August 11, 2017 at 6:09 pm

Poe’s law is a bit silly. Since the objective of sarcasm is that a special set of people understand a message (not everyone), why people feel special when it simply works?

4 msgkings August 11, 2017 at 3:06 pm

Oh boy here comes a whole lot of {{{this}}}

5 NatashaRostova August 11, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Nested dictionaries are useful in python, but if you have that many nests you might want to think of a better solution.

6 Alexander Supertramp August 11, 2017 at 5:58 pm

Look han, no one knows how you learned to speak fluent English. And no one else knows you speak gallant Spanish. How many words is your 10 words. 22 page flamingo melon and summarize it into a larry summers photograph. Have you ever seriously considered a saison? Only after you read a cover to cover New York Times? And then you refused, respectfully, to the saucer in the menu, you declined his advances.

7 Cliff Styles August 11, 2017 at 3:07 pm

My expectation is that decentralized, trustless tokens for any particular tribe of specialized trust will have a value because any tribe wants to reduce the cost of identifying, knowing and trusting other tribe members.

A Masonic coin is surely on the way?

I expect the Tyler & Caplan coins to follow since those of us influenced by them are another tribe.

So, most altcoins will probably have a non-zero value, it just may not be very much, though I expect there will be surprises.

8 Ray Lopez August 11, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Psst! Google “Tyler cowan masonic” and click on the first link. Is it a coincidence that TC teaches at George MASON? I’m no Dan Brown but two points make a line and I can spot a trend…

9 msgkings August 11, 2017 at 4:42 pm

Oh swell, he’s back

10 Thiago Ribeiro August 11, 2017 at 3:11 pm

“While anyone can purchase tokens”
If I buy Jewish tokens, can they work on Saturdays?

“The company will be managed by a ‘Council of Six’ made up solely of Jewish representatives.”
Will they eventually call themselves “Great Sanhedrin” or “Elders of Zion”?

11 prior_test3 August 11, 2017 at 3:13 pm

Then there will be the fork leading to BitCohn, right?

12 EverExtruder August 11, 2017 at 3:14 pm

“Not from the Onion”

Considering how things are going, why does the Onion even exist anymore. Life in 21st century America, thy name is satire.

13 msgkings August 11, 2017 at 3:26 pm


14 Thor August 11, 2017 at 9:55 pm

When was it not thus, though?

15 Brett August 12, 2017 at 2:45 am

I was about the say the same thing. I have a feeling “Not from The Onion” is going to be a common headliner going forward.

16 Ben August 11, 2017 at 3:40 pm

Waiting for the inevitable BitCowen. Anyone signing up?

17 Cliff Styles August 11, 2017 at 3:44 pm

Yup, and CaplanCoin, too….

18 msgkings August 11, 2017 at 4:01 pm

We could go all day with this: Bernancoin, Trumpcoin, Muskbucks, etc.

19 Thiago Ribeiro August 11, 2017 at 4:08 pm


20 Thiago Ribeiro August 11, 2017 at 4:13 pm


21 Thiago Ribeiro August 11, 2017 at 4:39 pm

No rubles. You may be having problems, as an American, to tell rubles and scruples apart. I oppose Communism because its doctrine enslaves people.

22 BC August 11, 2017 at 5:42 pm

BitCowen will be used to pay to make comments on Marginal Revolution.

23 Anon7 August 11, 2017 at 6:27 pm

They will also be used to have comments removed, which would be a better use in the aggregate.

24 Jessica Chastain August 11, 2017 at 9:34 pm

My teeth whitening nod in Miss Sloan was a big shout out to that player hating dog chewin son of a gun back in Greenpoint, when I was just telling Tea Leaoni what’s up and asking her about her daughter.

25 Brett August 12, 2017 at 2:46 am

I will! I assume it will be accepted at many, many restaurants.

26 Jason Bayz August 11, 2017 at 4:08 pm

Reminds me of this, another not from the onion story:

When the deadline when it was supposed to come out passed, no app was released. Consider:

The currency will be based on the value of the US dollar, with each BitCoen token available for one dollar. The plan is to initially issue 100 million BitCoens.The company hopes that they will be able to circulate up to $1.5 billion in the first two years.

That’s not the way a cryptocurrency is supposed to work, isn’t it?

27 Moo cow August 11, 2017 at 5:30 pm

Send me your dollars and I will send you a string of one’s and zeroes?

I think it is.

28 WC Varones August 11, 2017 at 5:22 pm

My heuristic for what’s an established, mainstream cryptocurrency is what Coinbase supports. So far it’s just Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin. They say they’re adding Bitcoin Cash shortly.

29 Gabriel August 12, 2017 at 9:57 pm

I’m still not convinced that this isn’t a scam. The only source in any of the news articles is a single article from RT (hardly the most reliable source), and I’ve yet to see any other confirmation that this is a real story.

In any event, as an Orthodox Jew who has been enjoying seeing this story bounce around my news feed for the past few days, I literally don’t know a single person with any intention of using these. Every Orthodox Jew I’ve seen discuss this is simply befuddled by why anyone would think this is a good (or needed) idea.

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