The subtitle is Behind the Scenes at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the content is a series of varied, first person, quasi-biographical reports of how the Met works:

1. "We received our art education at home, where we were fortunate enough to be surrounded by Impressionist paintings…"

2. "The building is in pretty good condition considering the amount of use it gets.  There have to be at least thirty bathrooms in this place, and in each of those bathrooms you have six or seven toilets, four or five urinals, four or five sinks, plus you have the locker room for the employees, with showers and things like that."

3. "I think it’s very important to have art in the world.  I am somebody who is not terribly impressed with people.  The only thing which is really exceptional about humans is art; apart from that, we are animals."

Who would you most like to be? 



Hudson Hawk: "Is looking like a constipated warthog a prerequisite for getting a job in the artworld?"

Replace "looking like" with "sounding like" for 3 & to a lesser extent 1.

Most overrated artist? Jackson Pollock. Does anyone else even come close?

Pollock's paintings are good because they are exciting. Lots of energy across the flat canvas plane. (Yes, the 'flat' is a reference to Clement Greenberg.)

Gosh, I haven't heard that stale old "fingerpainting" criticism of Pollock in years! It makes me want to call up my broker and short-sell Stutz Motor Car just for old times' sake.

I hope that I am #2. Those are the real inner workings of the Met.

I'm probably #2: it's hard to enjoy art if you Really Gotta Go...

Jackson Pollack thought he was GOD, I'm sure, during those rare moments when he was totally in the painting. The rest of the time he thought he was DOG.

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