Amazon reviews of milk

From Amazon:

Here is a positive (five star) review:

At first, the idea of buying this milk online for hundreds of dollars
seemed absurd. Then I started thinking about the Romans. What would the
Romans think of this? Never mind the milk – the milk is common,
pedestrian, it's just milk. Even Romans had milk. No, it's the plastic
packaging. It is transparent, flexible, seals tightly and lasts
forever. The Romans would have never seen anything like it. So based on
this, I decided to buy something that the Romans would have paid any
amount for. Compared to Romans, I got it for a steal.

The Romans had legions and controlled a wide swath of the Earth.
They were the foundation of western civilization. But they never had a
Tuscan milk jug.

Here is a negative (one star) review:

If you have no weapons, I don't recommend Tuscan Milk. Instead, I
recommend getting a set of nunchucks or a club. A broom stick or a
brick are good too. If you can't find anything at all, you can buy the
book Combat Without Weapons available on Amazon. Tuscan Milk does not
work well as a weapon because it is hard to swing and difficult to
throw. It also can't be used to stop any bullets. I read on a website
that it can stop a knife, once. That's not really worth it to me.
Unless you are attacked by cats, and need a distraction, you probably
don't need Tuscan Milk. I wish someone had written a review like this
before I bought the milk. I hope this review is helpful.

The gallon costs $69.99 on Amazon.  I thank Eric H for the pointer.

Addendum: Eric also points me to this review:

"Pros: Inexpensive, easy set up.
Cons: Short product lifecycle. No instruction manual. No optical/coax sound


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