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Meditation app Calm provides what it calls “bedtime stories for grown-ups” (an eclectic mix of lullabies, fairy tales, and short stories in audiobook form). But it’s now added highlights from the GDPR legislation to its roster, narrated aloud by former BBC radio announcer Peter Jefferson, who is famous in the UK for his readings of the Shipping Forecast — a nightly maritime weather report that’s cherished by non-maritime listeners for its repetitive and ritual qualities.

Jefferson doesn’t read the entire legislation (“which would take more than all night”), but he picks out more than half an hour of material, which is enough to send anyone to sleep. You can listen to an excerpt for yourself below, or download the app from Google Play or the App Store. Unfortunately, you have to pay to unlock the full GDPR reading (and a number of other Calm features), but you can test them all with a seven-day free trial.

Here is more, via the excellent Samir Varma.


The Shipping Forecast is truly excellent. It has a rhythmic, almost hypnotic quality, amidst strange names and invocations of doom ; "Cromarty, Malin, Wight ; moderate becoming poor, "

Nightly it calls to the formless deep, and the deep beyond men; for no-one suspects it hastens the day of Great Cthulhu!

I prefer the Apple EULA

Yes, the sage of Cupertino was well-versed in the Mythos. Yog-shothoth murmurs in his black dreaming wherever the Apple EULA is invoked, unread.

Оч хороший ресурс, спасибо Вам за полезный материал

Not sure why Cowen is obsessed about GDPR. I suppose it's funny because it's attempting the impossible, which is to protect one's personal data from being used for gain or worse by any number of libertarians in tech. Is it the Sisyphean task of protecting the data or is it the irony of libertarians accumulating and using others' data for their own gain? Maybe both. It's not your data anyway, or that's what Cowen has told us many times. Now that's funny.

That is what the Anglo-Saxon peoples have become: frightened little children who have to be convinced to sleep by a skillful mix of lullabies, fairy tales and assorted readings from the Federal Register.

It’s the sheer importance of Stormy Daniels’ tweets. CNN assures me that any day now, Trump will be impeached. Who wants to be asleep when that happens?

Even if it comesmto it, Mr. Pence would be able to rule effectively and shepard America until 2020.

Gin and beer works for me.

I wish I had stayed up until 3AM in the morning when we elected President Donald J. Trump.

Brazilians do not drink.

"I wish I had stayed up until 3AM in the morning when we elected President Donald J. Trump."

Iwas awake while I was seeing the world changing before my very eyes.

There is no doubt that Trump is a cad, a narcissist, and a vainglorious bully. But this does not preclude him from being a moderately successful president, as these are personality traits that may of may not affect policy.

In sum, not my guy, but I stayed up because I disliked HRC and wanted to see her speech. She has now deservedly lost to two upstarts, two political neophytes and populists.

Yet, she was a unknown quantity. Neither Obama nor Trump were. It is scary how the American political system is highjacked by populists.

It would have been a bloody sight scarier to see it stolen by the Clintons.

What a weird "centrist," as Trump is in so much trouble he has to float pardoning himself, you are "this is fine."

Well, if I were president, I would terrorize the populace and pardon myself repeatedly. It is like diplomatic imunity for citizens.

Ah! "Russiagate."

The fact that a few million brainless liberals are insane (bat shit crazy) over Hillary not getting her turn to wreck America doesn't constitute President Trump's high crimes and misdemeanors.

Don't see this presidency nor the direction of this country as successful. Debt and deficits are going sky high. This with Republicans in the majority in all 3 branches of govt. Then again the last time the R's were in charge, the debts continued its upward march. Oddly, D's spend money at a much slower pace. As a fiscal con, I know I must be the last of a dying race.

Tht is sad. Can I have you stuffed and mounted after you die?

There are already a million videos on Youtube doing this.

I guess the lullaby most appropriate to MR Readers would be "Cuck-a-bye Baby"

Yeah, I had already checked out Calm. Very limited content (stories) unless you pay $60 per year for Premium Membership. Pass.

!!איז יידיש געווען דער מאמע לשון פון א היפשער טייל יידן אין א 1918-1914סטן י"ה וואס דאן איז יידיש געווען דער מאמע לשון פאר רוב יידן אין אייראפע און ביי די יידישע אימיגראנטן פון אייראפע אין אנדערע לענדער. אין יענע תקופה איז יידיש באנוצט געווארן אויף 1939-1945וואס א שפראך ווערט באנוצט, לש 1861-1865ון קודש איז באנוצט געווארן נאר צו דאווענען און שרייבן תורה רייד , אבער Asimov ט האט אליעזר בן יהודה מאדערנעזירט דעם לשון קודש און איר אהערג Trump עשטעלט ווי א גערעדטע שפראך פ איז יידיש געווען דער מאמע לשון פון א היפשער טייל יידן אין אייראפע, בעיקר אין דעם 19טן און 20סטן י"ה וואס דאן איז יידיש געווען דער מאמע לשון פאר רוב יידן אין אייראפע און ביי די יידישע אימיגראנטן פון אייראפע אין אנדערע לענדע

Reminds me of the Black Books episode where Fran masturbates to the shipping forecast as read by an ex-boyfriend.

For a non football fan, the repetitive rise and fall tone of Gudgin reading the football results without any content to attract my attention was the best for inducing sleep.

If you have trouble falling asleep, the "Sleep With Me" podcast is magical. (It's G-rated.)

This one works for me reliably. It's the calm whispery voice that does the trick:

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